without a soul

2008-08-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

its late at night...
i'm all alone in the room...
there isnt anyone to talk to..
sighsigh...

and worst still... i'm thinking of the potato salad in the fridge...
:( lolx. hahaa... sighsigh.. hmm..
my dear friends... why are you all sleeping at this time???

(: hahaa... got someone here alr! yay!!!! finally got boring to talk to me:D

michelle

2008-08-09T02:58:00.000-07:00

hellos! (:
suddenly everything seems so much clearer.

murky waters have finally turned clear,
cloudy skies are suddenly bright with sunlight again(:
and best of all, i found the meaning of friendship again.

My life, is well... all right and finally nice again. (:
hehee... hmm... we should focus on what we have and not what we yearn for.

today finally went to the gym again! yay!!!
hmm... wore the ultra cute minnie mouse skirt with the white shirt... lolx.
i'm super excited!!!! daddy wants to bring me to thailand for a shopping trip after my exams.

said something about letting me shop alone... omg... :D
anyone interested? i'm allowed to bring a group of friends there(:
maybe about 3 to 4? yeah... the lodging is super cheap man(:
hahaa... if got 3 people go then it's 20 per night.(:

gonna head down to grams house now(: ciaox!

XoXo,
Michelle(:

2008-07-30T22:06:00.000-07:00

sometimes i feel that one mistake is all it takes for someone to take the wrong path.
and with that one path, there are many other paths that will continue to lead to other wrong paths... sighsigh...

So many thing to do, so many things to understand. ):
so little time to learn. DAMN.

michelle

2008-07-30T06:13:00.000-07:00

I have learnt my mistake.
Wont happen a second time.
Sigh. i realise that not everything is as it seems.

I used to wish for complicated stuff... but now,
all i want is for life to be simple and smooth. :)

I will close this box. I will make sure that everything appears fine(:

Love,
michelle

2008-07-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

Hellos(:
haven updated in years i believe(:

Life has been really tough this recent weeks.
Never have i had to experience this kinda stuff.
Blahs. damn sad.
But then again, i release that when there are times of trouble,
you find true friends(:

I'm learning... and growing(:
I really hope that i can maintain a positive outlook on this.
And take this as an opportunity to learn :D

Its now AutoCADD... blahs. kinda boring and dry..
cant seem to get this toopid isometric stuff... eek.
damn... kinda tired out...

(: POSITIVE THINKING!!!!

XoXoXo,
Mich(:

2008-06-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

hellos(:

hahaa... hmm... i had a taut last night at west mall macs. (:

it was kinda fun. i didnt think that i can cope with all these nonsense but,

i just realised that i can (: hahaa

hahaa.. life so far is looking far much brighter... (: and i'm really glad that

i can see the other paths that are for my taking.

hahaa... sounding all weird again... but nvm(: okies. here are some pics from last night's taut!

2008-06-15T04:09:00.000-07:00

it hurts. alot. ):
one of my closer friends is not in her best mood...
and all the worrying for mst...
and boon being alittle irritated...
and not being included in the loop...
this makes me sad and hurt... ):

i really dont know how to handle all these feelings.
i just want all these probs to disappear.
i guess the best i can do is be positive and try to be the best i can be!
hahaa. and pray that thats enough for everyone.

sigh. somebody save me...
cant stand this any longer...

2008-06-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

hahaa(:
i'm talking to matt on the phone!
=D
he is like one of my oldest friends.
lolx. yay! i'm gonna see him and peirong on wed next week.

i'm so happy... i miss him and peirong so much.
mostly only met up with cass and boon and weili they all only.
=D

hmm... hahaa... so now matt has gone to sleep and i'm talking to PR on msn.
=) yay! hahaa (:

we have decided to study on sat together... without matt... damn sad. hahaha
i realised my friendster dun have much pics! sad sad.
i must go take more le. hahaa

yay! and i walked past my banner last sat. (: i think it looks kinda neat!
thank you everyone for helping out with it. i really appreaciated it :D
yay...

i only recently went out with cass boon weili huiting and yinglin and yongsheng!
=D hahaa.. everyone has changed more or less... =) moslty for the better i think. hahaa.
miss all of ya so much. muaks muaks! how i wish i was in sec sch again, with all my friends...
that we all didnt have to grow up and stayed 16 forever...

XoXoX,
mich

2008-05-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

HELLOS!
here to say...
THANK YOU FOR HELPING OUT WITH THE BANNER!!
THE BANNER WONT BE COMPLETE WITHOUT YOUR HELP.
=D I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
yay!
with that said...

let me start to nag about my recent days!
hahaa
actually, i'm quite happy recently! hahaa..
really... even though sometimes i have a huge headache and my face
looks more like shit, i really really am kinda happy.
coz i know i have friends by me.
somehow there will be a way to work all these out.

that i'm positive about.
=D went out with friends to eat seoul garden that day. omg.
EXpensive sia... lolx
too lots of photos but i'm a tad lazy to post them here...
=D hmm... i'm blogging with a heavy heart..
something has happened... or rather, somethings have happened.
i'm not allowed to blog about it coz i'm not sure who might read.
and this frustrates me!
=( and i think i'm gaining weight.

=( =( =( heard the banner is up and is now soaking in the rain? omg.
poor precious banner... sad sad.
see? another sad thing. have to go dinner with daddy and his friend.
duty calls!

XoXo,
michelle

2008-05-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

heyheys!
=D did banner painting again today!
omg. the banner is so draining...
but i'm happy to do it... never done something so big scale before!
hahaa... i'm like being a super bad girl now...
using lappie on the bed, sneaking a few potatoe chips...
lolx. =( haha... somemore my favourite flavour, salt and vinegar!
omg. lolx. confirm will have stinky breath... =)
hehee... luckily i sleep alone...
sigh sigh. i'm so so tired out these days i wonder if i will ever
have a clear head ehs.
seriously... sometimes i walk ard with my head empty.
then after that right... i realise i didnt do the right thing at the right time! omg!
yupyups. its such a long day....
in fact, long week.
lets just hope everything goes smoothly...
daddy's coming home soon... yay! i think just in time for the last week of sch.
lucky i think the banner shall be up soon, before daddy's home.
so can come home early...
daddy hates it when i'm home late.
sad sad... still treat me like a baby.
how to let me grow?
here are some photos! =) of the banner!
yesterday's

TODAY'S :)

yupyups. lolx. i really hope everyone likes it!=)
i'm off to bed now... sigh. damn tired.... my whole body aching ehs! lolx.
die die. tml still got GM... and PEEE test i think die die...

XoXo,
michelle(:

2008-05-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

hello hellos! =D
okiesokies.
i'm like seriously battling the flu bug ehs.
so sad so sad.
=( slept late last night.
woke up early early this morning.
and and had like a crappy time hitting the banner.
HAHAA... i'm joking! the banner was tiring...
BUT extremely fun! seriously.
=D then rushed to muay thai,
looked ard the place for the building...
so silly right?
hahaa
but this nice senior Sherlim helped me! =D
hahaa... anyways. had a really long day.
=l hahaa... kinda satisfied with today.
off to study for my maths test le!

btw, FAIRLI! thanks for helping me with the banner sweetie!
lubb lubb lubb ya lots.

2008-05-18T00:47:00.000-07:00

heyheys! :)
haven been posting in mths.
life for me now is very hectic! :(
damn. hahaas. hmm... since the start of poly,
i have been involved in this academic club, EEEC

lolx. hahaa... things are really different over there.
didnt know that the camp is for recruiting year ones.
silly me! hahaa... anyways.. so far, i'm been feeling kinda stressed out.
designing banners. drawing ideas from many many sources.
:) something different from what i usually do!
normally all i draw are doodles and little cartoon characters
that are 2D only. :) so it's only recently that i recapped on toning.
:D hehee... i have been so so tired out...
haven really started studying... shit right? lolx.
and i so far already never pass up my tcs homework...

die die... hahaa... there is more design work coming up...
and more stuff to plan. shit shit. some more got more test also! die die...
hahaa.. but nvm, i'm not complaining.
i kinda think i'm really cool to try organise and plan outings and stuff.
:) something new again! hehee... i hope i'm up to everyone's expectations.

recently i realised a lot of stuff.
some good, some bad, some really really horrible.
damn! i really need a rest from all these emotional turmoils!
i dont like to compete over nothing. why cant we all just be friends?
i guess not everyone is as nice huhs. BOO!
this is really upsetting me. it's making me feel
that i'm carrying a rock in my heart whenever i see them.
:( so sad. i just want to scream at them!
'stop being so childish and grow up! you are dealing with other people's personal life here!'
assholes. :( feel like giving them two tight slaps.
but if they act this way, then their aim is to most likely affect me this way and to see my action right? hahaa. so i will not let them have this satisfaction. kiss my ass man!

anyways. on to stuff that's way more pleasant.
:) i'm really really happy with who i am now.
i think i grew up in like 3mths! thks cain!
hahaa. seriously, he is like my fortune teller.
what he says always come true. and i really really appreciate his help.
:) coz i never would have changed without his help.
hehee... anyways. i think that i love elle more and more each passing day! yeah!!!
lolx. for the record. mich=elle! michelle? yupyups.. it's the same person.
ME! hahaa... so stop asking so many questions. :)

yupyups. i missed all you dunearn sweeties!! MY SWEETIES...
when can we meet again? i have missed you guys so much.
life is tough without you by my side, physically, your shoulders are what keeps me up.(:

XoXo,
michelle

2008-04-05T22:57:00.000-07:00

heys! :)
come home from camp...
hmm...
this is the ONOC de...
hmm... met up with HUI JUN, ROCHELLE and HUAI XIN.
:) my new friends!!!
lolx..
then this time i diff group with XINYI...
damn sad... but met another new friend, FAIRLI
:) all these girls damn prettier de.... serious...
:( lolx... i'm jealous alr... hmm... lolx...
hmm... i'm super tired... didn't sleep for the whole night... then is super ultra tired ehs...
the GLs planned some war game...
hmm... i think our base is the best base... lolx...
:) same grp as kris and icheng again... hmm... but this time the grp name is not LEGE...
is AH DAI. lolx. weird names huh?
hmmm i'm still missing my sweet dunearn frens... but everyone is so so busy!
sigh... i want to go visit them!!! damn.... i miss you guys...

hahaa... i really think that i'm gonna put on alot of weight soon if i dun go gym...
i sinned!!! went to eat MAC breakfast this morning... OMG...
lolx... anyways... really had fun in the camp...
and i feel that i need a good sleep... hahaa...
so insteading of complaining about how tired i am here,
i'm heading to bed NOW!!!
:)

mich

2008-04-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

=)
had dinner with cain... lolx...
his treat... :) hmm... went to 360... lolx... damn...
coz i sign up for some camp AGAIN... haiyos...
so sat not free... so have to reschdule... and put it on friday
which is tml... and i just went to today!!!

:( i'm so so tired.... damn... hmm...
okies... for all my old frens... let me update you on my current life bahs!!!
hmm... okies... during this ultra LONG break... i didn't work...
and i also keep going shopping... hahaa...
i recently went to the EEEC camp... hmmm...

i have never been to camp with so many other guys!
lolx... but all in all quite fun lohs...
hahaa... and the GLs are really sweet...
hmm... guys there also quite nice... but they eat alot...
and tell alot of lame jokes...
i got a shock you knows!!!
i didn't know that engi guys keep telling those ultra lame jokes...
hahaa... to entertain us... i know...
but seriously... esp the heat molecules joke...
sigh.... it just like Cain said...
lolx
:) hmmm....

i miss you guys!!!! my old frens... :(
cass, boon, willy, peirong,yin ling, huiting, matt.... and haiyos... all you e1 de... and MI peeps too... damn... i want to go shopping and kbox and pool!!! i want to go out with you!!! :( you guys are my comfort zone... you make me feel safe!!!

sigh... who ask most of your to go JC and leave me alone.... boohuhu...

michh

2008-03-22T07:14:00.000-07:00

heys! its been long since i last blogged...
hmmm.. stuff have been great until recently...

hmm.. i guess is more of family problems bahs... lols...
coz i don't know whats gotten into them.
and i have becomed so irritable to everyone...
so i have been trying my best to smile and talk like before...
but it just feels so fake... damn...
so here. if you think i have a perfect family,
then you thot wrong.

sigh... I actually am starting to hate my life.
too much pressure from my dad.
just becoz i got into EEE in the same school as him doesn't mean he have to force me to study every freaking day of my present hols right?
gosh... i dun even have some breathing space...
it's at this kinda time that makes me wish ill of him
grgh... sigh... and there just seems to be so much friction between me and everyone of them
i hate me...
why can't i handle stress better or something?
gosh. and i wish my dad will just grow up and appreciate the people ard him!
when i start work and become a somebody i promise to bring my mum to shopping and spa every freaking day.

gosh... i'm so tense i think i can bite off the head of an elephant.
grgh!!! and my dad does stuff behind my back! and he is so mean with his words!!!
i dunno what to say to him anymore... stuff isn't just so simple...
asshole. i hate this! i'm not someone who handles stress and decision making well!
i mean.. haiyos.
i just want this all to end. i dunno how and i suppose to solve this.
but i will find a way.
no matter how hard.
=) coz i know deep down my dad has my best interest.
but he is just too asshole like and too freaking childish and control freak,
can't let me do stuff my way.
gosh. hate this kinda feeling...

2008-03-02T08:55:00.000-08:00

damn...
sigh... in this post i shall not talk about my day... hmmm...
today, while watching Coffee Prince i suddenly recalled an incident.
:) i remember there was this one time where i felt really upset and stressed up
over something that happened at home, and something that happened over the phone.
the feeling is just too overwhelming... well... at least i think the phone thing was.
lolx. sigh.... i know that i should type everything here... but i can't coz i paiseh!
lolx... hmmm...

anyways... what happened pver the phone really made me feel very very uncomfortable...
and i felt really upset over it. felt like the person took my feelings and just,
jumped all over it and threw it in the blender.
:( it was just horrible.... the caller didn't even think about my feelings!
made me feel like i'm some insignificant fly.

BUT I'M NOT!!!
i know it now... all thanks to Cain. :) i really think he is a great trainer... :)
everytime i'm sad, and feel like a freak,
he is there to encourage me to keep my chin up.

hahaa... he is working as a trainer.
not my counseller.
:) but he is still so nice and ultra sweet to me about my life and feelings...
i'm so touched! hahaa

that day... i went to the gym with a heavy heart...
felt so damn ugly...
and well... he just put his arms around my shoulder and said,
hey, i'm always here for you girl.
:)

yups. so just decided to publish this post... hahaa...
so if you see any friends who are feeling weird...
just do the same! :)
confirm break down like me de!!!

lolx...

2008-03-01T06:33:00.000-08:00

:)
woke up late today! damn...
so daddy was ultra nice and sent me to gym...
:( but when i realised that i lost my bet with Cain...
i was like ultra sad... :) hahaa...
so Cain ultra gentleman!!!
he set another target for me!!!
this time he is super sweet... he promise to treat me to pizza...
of coz... i must reach the target weight in... abt more weeks...
damn... :)

still worth it i think...
lols! heys!!! guess what? went shopping with mummy at IMM!!!
and she bought me lots of new clothes... :) i love my parents...
hahaaa... anyways... i tried on a few for daddy and he said not bad...
i guess coz he in good mood... (i had to watch chinese news with him)
{THE HORROR!!!!} hahaa... imagine that!!!
anyways... today started and ended well...
wesley said i slimmed down abit!!! whoa!!!
:)i'm glad that there are changes...
a small comment of his brighten up my day tremendously!!!(sp?)
hahaa.... i love MICHELLE!!!!

2008-02-29T05:41:00.000-08:00

:)heyheys! lolx...
just reach hm only :)
hahaa... went to the gym with Matt

lolx... met matt at ard 530...
was alittle late :X..
hahaas... we took a cab down to Keppel Club...
then trained alittle... the view very nice!!!
hahaa... i could see sentosa from the gym!
lolx... anyways... matt taught me a how to use a few new machines...
:) then did weights and then cardio then went to wash up...
:) had fish and chips. matt's treat then walked ard...
waited for the cab and went hm. :)

hmmm.... i miss my frens!!! i'm like staying at hm for these few days!
the feeling is kinda nice... like lazying ard at hm...
:) soon have to start work soon... then i'll have to sorta juggle gym and work!
shittys... lolx...

i'm gonna hit the gym at 12noon... damn...
have to wake very very early!!! :(
so sad!!! :(

damn excited abt Sunday!!!
lolx... must meet up with my sec frens!!!
YEAH!!!

2008-02-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

:)
today is a happy day! lolx... I LOVE SHOPPING WITH PEH!!
hehee... She never fails to make my day a happy one...
coz she always tells the truth... and i know that she will help me!

hahaa... she makes me happy and confident.
i guess i must must be more like her...
more focused and selective about my actions.

:) bought more clothes!!! hahaa... damn...
daddy didn't seem too angry though...
still passed him the two receipts!!! :X
then he told me to staple with the rest..

omg... i spent... hmm... close to a hundred alr...
damn... :) but go poly mahs.. so must go shopping...
i'm very excited to enter this new phrase of my life!

damn... keeping in contact has always been a hard thing for me...
never learnt it well... :( but i just want all you sweet frens of mine,
to know that i love you lots... and treasure the happy times we spent together okies! :)
so yes...

I wore high heels today! OMG... my very first time and i got a blister!!
damn... :( lucky mummy told me to bring a pair of slippers along...
btw! peh said i looked nice in the red top! hahaa... made my day! :)
hehee... she said must be more fashionable! and i'm trying...
yirui always so nice to me... this year must save up for her birthday present!!
hahaas... really... everytime i need help she is there...
i wish i am like her! :) hehee... coz then people will think of me like that!
hahaas...

i want to borrow Netball from Gaya... :( where are you gaya? so sad...
i guess you are also busy with your new life in MI... without me!!!
damn damn...
hahaas... i still don't know how to post pics here... so yupyups....
can't post all my fren's pic here... damn...

i will learn soon! i better go sleep alr... tml will be another long day!!! :)